


Finding My Way Home To You

by Moonlight_Battlefield



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Character Death, Depression, F/M, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-05 04:23:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17318021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlight_Battlefield/pseuds/Moonlight_Battlefield
Summary: Venom wakes up after the fallout of the Life Foundation already in a host, but it’s not Eddie. She’s far from being Eddie, in fact. She’s far from Eddie in general.When Venom makes themselves known, they explain their situation, terrorized by the idea of Eddie being dead.She tells her parents, naturally. Venom never said not to.





	1. Chapter 1

 

_“You are nothing.”_

His body was slammed to the ground, only adding onto the piercing pain within his chest. It hurt. He wheezed, taking hold of the scrap piece that had been impaled through his torso, as if it would help alleviate the burning feeling. He knew he was going to die. He knew Venom wouldn’t make it to him on time, and yet, there was the lightest glimpse of hope they would.

Watching the world fade, he reached out, trembling. Hoping for the slick and warm feeling of Venom slithering across his fingers, hoping they’d make it. His hand fell limp, as his eyes finally shut. He became dead to the world, and yet he hoped...

 

He couldn’t tell how long it had been, but he soon felt his body lift from the ground, warmth caressing him and protecting him, reviving him, stitching his chest back together. His mind was immediately flooded with fear and worry, the image of his near-lifeless body, and one word.

**_Eddie!_ **

Venom roared, ripping out the large steel plate from their chest, and then proceeding to launch themselves up the support beams next to the rocket, frantically climbing to keep up with it. At the top, they leaped right up to the window of the rocket, holding on as it continued upwards, claws digging into the material. Had it not been for the wall between them, Venom would’ve attacked Riot straight away.

 _“TRAITOR!”_ Riot snarled at them, watching helplessly through the glass as Venom grinned and prepared to jump once more.

**“Have a nice life.”**

And with that, Venom kicked off from the rocket, and tore open the tank. Fuel colliding with fire, Venom holding on tighter to their host. The explosion threw them back, burning up and destroying not only the Life Foundation rocket and the pair within, but Venom and Eddie as well.

Venom dissolved from their host, spreading up and out to form a black mass of a parachute, pieces of them already diminishing. They wanted Eddie to live, even if it meant they died in the process. They were his protector, after all. Eddie had people who could support him, he deserved to live after everything they put him through. He deserved to live a full life, to continue on as if nothing had happened, he’d probably forget about them soon anyways.

**_Goodbye, Eddie._ **

The man screamed, reaching and grabbing frantically for for his bond, for Venom. He was overcome with emotions as he fell faster and faster, only able to watch as the symbiote burnt up right in front of him. The bond becoming less and less responsive. _No no no Venom please no please don’t go please-_

“VENOM, _NO_!”

Before Eddie knew it, he was plunged underwater. Sinking, sinking, the lack of oxygen stung. He emerged above, frantically calling for Venom, searching for them, any sign of them. No matter what, he _had_ to find them. He dove back below, waves of warmth hitting him and being replaced with ice coldness frequently. Eyes on fire from salt within the water, scouring the small area of ocean to find them. _Venom no I can’t do this without you I need you I need_ **_us_ ** _please please please_.

Sirens began to sound, warbled and faded, but gradually becoming closer. Eddie resurfaced, legs hurting from wading and literally everything else, but he couldn’t stop looking, he had to find Venom. _He had to_.

“Eddie! We’re gonna come get you, hang in there!” He heard Anne yell from shore, but he didn’t care. He felt empty, the silence was suddenly too loud, his body too quiet. He couldn’t feel Venom weaving through his ribs or wrapping around his stomach, it just didn’t feel right.

His vision faded to black, and the next thing he knew, he was in an ambulance. It was dim; not too bright, but bright enough to see what was around him. He was covered in a few blankets and towels, clothes replaced with pajamas for the time being. He couldn’t see too well, but his hands felt heavy by his sides, and with what he figured to be Anne and Dan’s voices talking to each other, he could only assume they were holding his hands.

Only then did he realize how fortunate he was to be alive. Any other person falling from the height he did would’ve died on the way down, but Venom had _shielded him._ Venom did everything in their power to keep him alive, they protected him seconds after the two of them met, they had they had kept him together through the extreme chase through San Francisco, and now, it had been the cause of their demise.

He felt tears build in his eyes, chest becoming heavy yet again, his throat was dry and burning. It felt like he couldn’t breathe, as if his chest was wrapped with a constricting tape, getting tighter and tighter every time he took a breath. Someone must’ve noticed, because he soon felt something wipe away his tears, telling him it was alright, that everything would be alright, that _he_ would be alright.

_He didn’t believe it._

 

Eddie woke up again in the hospital, only this time it was because of the muffled talking in the background, rather than the lights. The room here was darker than inside the ambulance, only illuminated slightly slightly by the the computer screens on their lowest settings. The room was the same one he had the MRI in, the same one he left Venom in. The bed must’ve been moved in from a different room, it looked different and felt more comfortable than the one from before. Nobody was in the room, as far as he could tell, but he still heard the talking from outside.

“-all I know is that the rocket blew up! I don’t know how he lived or what happened to either of them outside of the fact that Eddie for sure survived!” One voice said, he guessed it was Anne’s, as only she would’ve been a witness to nearly the whole fight.

The next voice sounded a lot like Dan’s, but considering he had only seen the guy a few times, he couldn’t say for sure. “The only way Eddie could’ve survived a fall from that height and direct contact with flames would be if his para- alien partner helped. We won’t be able to know if it survived completely or not unless we test with sound or ask Eddie himself.”

He teared up at the mention of Venom, hoping the other would give some sign to him that they were still alive, anything! Just a small touch to the heart, a hum, something! _Anything!_

 _Parasite?_ Eddie thought, he was sure it would produce some sort of reaction, so when it didn’t, he thought the word again. _Come on parasite, please tell me you’re there, please Venom where are you? where did you go?_

The tears were spilling now, and there was nothing he wanted to do about it. He simply turned on his side and held his midsection, where Venom would curl around the most. He didn’t know what to do. Wasn’t like he could do anything anyways, he was stuck in a bed at his least favorite place ever. If he left, Anne would be on his case and he was sure Dan would send out a search party of sorts for him. _Maybe I should do that for Venom…_

An hour passed before Dan and Anne entered the room. He said something to her and took the computers off the screensavers, illuminating the room more so than before. Eddie closed his eyes, moaning at the loss of the darkness, which was more calming than the light, to say the least. _Here we go, they’re probably gonna ask about Venom and we-_ **_I’m_ ** _gonna cry._

“Hey, Eddie,” Dan began, careful and quiet, “how are you feeling?” It was a simple enough question, he could answer it easily. Too easily.

“ ‘m doing fine.”

“ _Eddie_ ,” Anne says, worried, yet stern at the same time. Eddie knew that tone, she used it just before he interviewed Carlton Drake, and when trying to help him find out what Venom was.

Eddie groaned, “what…?” He answered how he seemed fit, he felt fine. Actually, he felt nothing, but that wasn’t something to tell.

Dan spoke again this time, seeming to know what Anne would say, “please be honest with us Eddie, we only want to help, you-”

“ ‘You’ what? You’re gonna tell us- me that I made it out of the mess- the explosion with no injuries and that they’re- that Venom’s still alive? ‘Cause I sure as _hell_ can tell you they aren’t,” Eddie ranted, sitting up and hugging his knees to his chest, “Venom’s gone. _They’re_ _gone, Anne._ They’re-”

Before he knew it, hands were on his shoulders, hands on his back, hands _hands_ **_hands-_ ** _it’s too much- oh god why am I feeling like this?_ It was too loud, a constant pulse thumping, faster and louder and- _oh god_ . He couldn’t breathe, breathing too much yet not at all, his throat (was it even _his_ ) hurt and he couldn’t speak _._ The hands were off as soon as they were on, but he could still feel them, as if they never left. Stinging remnants of his childhood, cuts and scars and burns and _jesus christ it all feels so real._ Stuck, he can’t get up, get away, he’s drowning, it’s too real, warbled voices and watery eyes and face, the lights were too bright, everything’s too loud, _Venom please come back I can’t do this I’m dying save me help me I need you please-_

The concept of time was thrown out the window at this point. It just kept going It just kept going and going, never stopping. One minute it was nearly midnight, and the next, it was two in the morning. All Eddie knew when he slowed out of his panic attack was that time had indeed, passed.

As Anne was helping Eddie recuperate from the attack with small talk about books, Dan made sure to keep him breathing regularly, checking on his medical records all the while. He hummed, clicking on a file and reading into it, growing more worried as the minutes passed. The surgeon glanced at Eddie, then back to the file, sitting back into his chair slightly.

“Eddie, how about you stay at our place for a few nights? I have a few books you might be interested in reading,” Dan suggested, catching Eddie’s attention slightly, “plus, you need to get some rest. From what it sounds like, you haven’t slept properly in days.”

Eddie exhaled, breathing out a “yeah” and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Anne reached to take his hand but he pushed it away, only to take it himself. Dan and Anne walked him out to the car as he held his head, feeling a huge headache coming on. _Of course it's a headache, what else would it be?_ He sat in the back, despite Dan insisting he could sit in the front if he wanted.

The city drifted past them as Anne drove, stop lights and office buildings, convenience stores and fast food restaurants, all lit up the streets as she drove. Eddie simply watched, uninterested in the lights or the route being taken. He just wanted to sleep, or to drink, something to numb the pain he felt towards losing Venom.

With Venom, he felt safe. When perched on top of the MNBN tower, he felt no fear (well, maybe a little), and even while falling down the side, he somehow knew Venom would catch him. He felt a connection with Venom, more so than with any of his past partners. Sure, he was connected with Anne, but with Venom, it felt more personal. Yeah, some of the things they did were gross, but Eddie understood it had to be done for them to stay alive. He had seen what happened to one of the symbiotes in Drake’s lab, he knew they needed some sort of chemical _or something_ in human heads to live. It hurt, losing Venom. Eddie felt sick at the thought of them truly being dead.

 

It felt like only a few minutes had passed until Anne parked in front of her place and shut the car off. Eddie got out, and immediately headed for the guest bedroom once Dan unlocked the home’s door. He knew it was rude, but Dan had a point when he mentioned Eddie hadn’t slept in days. He was so tired, it felt like there was a dead weight over him, trying to make him lay down someplace and sleep.

The pyjamas he was put into were soft enough, so he decided to keep them on, rather than change into a different set of spares. Plus they were a nice shade of blue, one of his favorite colors. Just as he sat on the bed, Anne appeared in the doorway.

“Are you okay, Eddie? Would you like something to eat before you sleep?” She asked, leaning on the wall next to the door. He could see Dan across the way in the kitchen, washing the dishes. Looking back to Anne, he shrugged.

“I dunno, I’m just- it’s crazy. I’ve known you longer than Venom and yet… it hurts, Anne. We grew so close and suddenly they’re-“ Eddie chokes on his words, straining himself not to cry again. Taking a long and heavy breath, he continues, “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Anne. It should’ve been me protecting them, you know? They would’ve been able to find someone better anyways… I’m sorry Anne, I’m sorry you have to put up with me.”

Anne quickly moved to sit down next to him, opening her arms for a hug, which he accepted after a moment. Slight panic rose in his chest at the touch, but it calmed after she ran her hand through his hair.

“Eddie, we don’t know for sure if they’re gone for good. For all we know, they could be searching for you this very moment,” she tried, softly, “either way, Venom wouldn’t have chosen anyone but you. Right after you left them, they went searching for you. They even told me you were the only reason they wanted to stay here. Venom wanted to stay with you, Eddie, forever and ever.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“It’s true!” Anne took his hand in hers and squeezed it, “they didn’t want anything but to be with you. They said, and I quote, ‘we were made to be together, Eddie and I. Soulmates, if you will.’ They weren’t kidding, the kiss was all their idea as well.”

Silence followed her words, and it stung. Eddie’s mind was reeling. _Did Venom really think of us as soulmates? What if they are still out there? Is Anne making all of this up to make me feel better?_ To which Eddie concluded, _no, she isn’t. She can’t be._

Part of him was hopeful, but the other part didn’t believe a thing she said.

 

_Why did it have to be Venom? It should’ve been me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really excited to share more of this story with you guys! I've had the idea of it for a few months now, and I figured this would be the best place to share it, so here it is! I don't have a schedule for updates, but I'll try to get the next chapter out soon!  
> Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! Hope you enjoy!

The Life Foundation had blown up within the span of a few hours. Physically, and socially. Almost the entirety of San Francisco knew the basics of what went down, with the rocket explosion and whatnot. News stations all over the country did a story on it minutes after the explosion. Anonymous viewers sent in footage of the rocket burning to bits, there was even a clip of an unnamed man- later discovered to be Eddie Brock- falling into the water and being recovered by paramedics minutes later. Nobody knew what to make of the situation, so it lead to speculation and rumors, as all things do.

People would talk about the event on the way to work, claiming they saw two shadowy figures fighting on the bridge between Life Foundation and the rocket. Footage of it was never released of course, but supposedly someone who worked for the Life Foundation had leaked the info, and was taken into questioning.

Well known reporters in the area also lovingly named the incident the “LIFE-Explosion,” simply because it was faster to say than the whole name of the company. The name stuck, and of course, spread like wildfire the morning thereafter. 

That very same morning, though, one kid was intentionally left out of the loop. It was her parents decision, as they didn’t want to worry her too much. They had plans to visit the small, yet cozy, beach between the Golden Gate Bridge and the main Life Foundation building. The same building she visited months earlier for a school trip. She never liked watching the news, so it was relatively easy to keep her away from the topic.

 

The girl stared at her reflection through the window, from her light brown hair, to her emerald green eyes. Her hair was styled in a bob, roughly shoulder length, extremely thick and fluffed out at the edges, she didn’t like the style as much as she used to, but it worked. It was better than having it halfway down her back, at least; low maintenance was key. Her eyes were a different story, though. They glimmered in the sunlight, she almost to squint with how bright it was outside. Truthfully, they were the only thing she absolutely loved about herself, despite them being one of the few things she couldn’t change.

As the car rolled to a stop, the brunette grinned, flinging her sunhat onto the car seat, just before leaping onto the asphalt her parents parked the car on. The small family had somehow managed to snag a parking spot right next to Battery Spencer, known as one of the best spots for a close and clear view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Having been in the San Francisco area for a few days now, they had taken many pictures of the bridge already, so it wasn’t their main reason for visiting the area. They had seen quite a few landmarks around the city already, so it was a day of relaxation for the family.

She looked around until she found the path they had arrived for. It lead to Kirby Cove, which not only hosted a beach, but a campground as well. Not waiting a second longer for her parents, she took off, following the path as it wound around the cliff edges. The slight incline kept her going forward, making it easier and faster to get down to the beach, despite her parents’ shouts for her to wait.

Her swimsuit was simple, designed to look like a dress of sorts, it was pink (her favorite color) and featured a few baby blue bows on the top. Along with it, she wore light blue crocs, and a bow of the same color in her hair. She knew it’d get wet and she could lose it, but she liked wearing it regardless.

It wasn’t a secret that she liked bows, all her friends knew, the entire school knew, heck, the entire school district knew how much she liked them. She really liked dresses too, most of her wardrobe was made up of them. She did have ‘informal’ clothes too, but she only really wore them when she wasn’t leaving home. She didn’t see herself as the ‘overly girly’ type like her friends, as she liked things that were more ‘boy coded,’ excluding the dresses and bows, of course. 

Full on sprinting at this point, she grinned upon seeing the water ahead. Running right past the bunker to the right, she jumped off the slight ledge to the beach (her crocs had fallen off at this point) and continued until she was knee-deep into the ocean. She knew there was a swing nearby, but the ocean was her biggest priority, as was that specific view of the Golden Gate Bridge and San Francisco. 

She stood for a minute, admiring. The city was just past the bridge, and there were small mountains to the left and right of her. She couldn’t see it, but she knew the Life Foundation building was up on the mountain to the right. Something supposedly happened regarding the place just a while earlier, but she didn’t pay much mind, as all she heard was, ‘did you hear what happened with the Life Foundation yesterday?’

“Clara!” the girl turned to face her parents, who were standing on the ledge she had jumped from just minutes before, “you can’t just go running off like that!”

“I know mom, I just got really excited!” Clara shouted back, “you should come in! The water’s great!” it was true, the ocean was cold, yet not freezing, warm, yet not hot. Thinking about it, she decided it was  _ nearly _ the perfect temperature.

She wandered closer to shore again, as the waves were feeling a little rough from where she was. It was still wonderful, though. The feel of constant (yet slow) churning sand beneath her feet, the weather was amazing too. Clouds scattered across the sky, occasionally blocking the sun from view. It wasn’t very windy, either, just enough to know it was there, but not too much to shove someone into the water.

As Clara continued towards the dry part of the beach, she stepped on something under the water. It felt squishy... slimy? She’d honestly call it a fish if she wasn’t already aware they didn’t swim  _ that close _ near shore. Picking her foot up above the water, she caught a glimpse of something black on it before it disappeared.

“What the…?” She submerged her foot again, feeling around the area vaguely, but all she could feel was sand. Lifting it once more only to find nothing, Clara continued towards the dryer side of the beach, filled with confusion about the event. She found herself asking, “where did the sludge go?” Strangely enough, her leg felt staticky, though she got the feeling a lot, so she cast it aside for the time being.

Clara ended up wandering the area some more; after finding where her crocs went, of course. She sat on the swing for a while, walked from one end of the beach to the other, then back again. She tried climbing a few trees, and looked around the campsite nearby, even talking to a few of the other kids.

 

A few hours had to have passed since Clara and her family arrived, because before she knew it, she was starving and had nothing else to do in the area. She found her parents near the bunker, talking about something that must’ve been a secret, because as soon as she came over, they dropped the subject of their conversation.

“Can we leave now? I’m really hungry,” Clara said, shaking the sand from her crocs. She also wanted to leave because she heard they would be in Los Angeles for the rest of the day. Most of it, she hadn’t seen yet. 

The only reason she’s been there before was for a convention, which was fun, for the most part. It was really crowded so she didn’t have fun with that,  _ but _ she met some really cool people that she (thankfully) was still in contact with. 

“Yeah, we’ll get going in a few minutes. Why don’t we take a family picture first?” her dad smiled, pulling his phone from his pocket. She knew the minute she saw it, that the photo would be inescapable. She was doomed the minute she asked to leave. Groaning, she followed her family back to the water, waiting for them to kneel next to her to get level for the picture. 

After they shot the pictures, Clara wandered the shore for a few more minutes, picking up some seashells before following her parents back to the car. The family packed up the car yet again, and drove off to their destination; The Freehand Hotel. They figured Clara could keep herself busy, so they focused on where they were going, instead of on her.

The first hour of the ride was bearable for young Clara, she kept herself busy reading comics and drawing. The next hour she spent playing her Nintendo 3DS, switching between a few different games, fiddling with her beaded mint colored bracelet, and watching out the window. Mainly, she watched the clouds, trying to decipher many of the different shapes they formed. 

Soon enough, her handheld ran out of battery, so she settled with sleeping the rest of the ride. She was fine with the idea, as she hadn’t slept much the night before. She had been far too excited to get her normal amount of sleep, too excited about visiting Kirby Cove, Los Angeles, and finally, Huntington.

 

Unbeknownst to Clara and her family, a foreign creature was twisting and weaving their way through the girl. Unconscious, lost. Impulsively, they found refuge within the spaces along her spine, despite it being rather cramped. They could make do with it for a while.

The only part of them that was aware was their mind. Constantly thinking and blurred. They knew they were somewhere, but they didn’t know where. All they knew was that their true host was still alive, or at least, he was when they were last with him. Memories of their short time with him resurfaced, and as a result, built up a sense of longing within them. They had no idea where they were. They’d check if they could, but truthfully, they didn’t know if they were even  _ alive _ . Then again, they knew it was dumb to think they were dead when they were clearly thinking and remembering.

They really  _ did _ feel dead, though. That was the thing. All they knew about what was happening was that they were contorted around  _ something’s  _ spine, and that their host was moving. They could only feel the vague shapes of what was around them and the vibrations created by their host. If it weren’t for that, well, they wouldn’t know what to think, or if they’d be able to at all. They couldn’t see, they couldn’t taste, smell, or hear, they could only  _ think and feel _ . Three out of five senses were down for the count, so to speak.

They also knew they couldn’t project to their host now, as nothing changed when they first tried to. Not their heart rate, not their mind, nothing. The host stayed the same for what felt like forever, zero reactions came out of their attempt to converse, or to at least share their thoughts.

Producing a low hum for a second, they settled further into their small space. They missed their perfect host’s thoughts, as chaotic as they were. Organized chaos, he would call things, and they thought the concept fit well with describing his thoughts.

Which brought up a whole new thought;  _ What is Eddie thinking now? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you for reading!  
> I know this was more of an introduction chapter than the first, but you have to start somewhere, right?   
> The first few paragraphs of this chapter were updated on January 21st 2019, along with smaller fixes here and there!
> 
> I posted Clara's design on my Tumblr if you'd like to take a look! :)  
> https://moonlight-battlefield.tumblr.com/post/182067247830/hello-finding-my-way-home-to-you-features-this


End file.
